San Francisco – maybe

 

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Russ and I are hoping to make a trip to San Francisco. It’s strange that we can go away without fear of life at home being out of control, or even dangerous. His work requires him to travel, but when life was unstable and difficult, he wasn’t able to leave us.

As we talked about this trip, I realized that I’m not afraid to leave the kids at home. Well, that’s not entirely true. I’m not afraid that the kids will be unmanageable for the person left in charge; we’re still dealing with challenges that wear us out, but life isn’t dangerous.

But I am still afraid.

This morning, as I was pulling on warm clothes to come downstairs in the wee hours, I remembered the sweater I was wearing the day of the accident. It was a favorite color of mine. I was struck by the realization that when I got dressed that morning, I had no idea what was about to happen. I didn’t know that just an hour later we would be in a terrible accident and lose Kalkidan.

Maybe we’re never safe – or maybe we’re always safe because we’re held in the palm of God’s hand.

This is the way the thoughts move through my mind nearly every day.

But back to San Francisco. Russ will be busy working during the days, which means I can have quiet days of reading and writing, or I can wander the city. I’m not sure what I’ll want to do.

Have you been to San Francisco? What do you recommend?

Can you believe it’s only two weeks until Christmas? Does that strike fear in your heart, joyful anticipation,or a mixture of both? I’m setting goals each day, doing my best to prepare and not panic at the last minute.

Have a wonderful Friday, friends. I appreciate you reading my thoughts and allowing me to process – I’m so thankful for you.

Lisa

 

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Let me introduce myself. Russ and I are the parents of twelve children by birth and adoption, and sometimes more through foster care. I'm the creator of One Thankful Mom which has been as much of a gift to me as to my readers. In 2011 I became a TBRI® Pracitioner* and have lived and breathed connected parenting ever since. I'm deeply honored to be the co-author, together with the late Dr. Karyn Purvis, of The Connected Parent; it is her final written work. I love speaking at events for adoptive and foster parents. I'm also the co-founder of The Adoption Connection, a podcast and resource site for adoptive moms. I mentor and encourage adoptive moms so you can find courage and hope in your journeys of loving your children well.

14 Comments

  1. caroline
    December 11, 2015

    Go to Sausolito, right over the bridge – it's nestled in the bay at little yacht harbor – Philz coffee in Sausolito has amazing "iced mojito coffee" – cold brew with freshly pounded sprigs of mint. On a sunny day, there are lots of quaint cafes to stare at the water and views and linger with a book. It's downright magical. I have heard you at Called to Love twice now. This last time, I dragged my best friend in from Wash DC to see you too 🙂 They are mid-Ethiopia adoption, and we have 8 kids, 7 adopted from foster care in the last 2 years (in 2 siblings sets … 2 and 5). (Our eldest sound so similar to one of your daughters who is an old soul in a young body. Her faith grew roots through all of the intense suffering, and I am relieved to say she has her voice, and it's more beautiful than ever because God gave her darling, innocent, childlike faith deep roots when she was forced to depend on Him for companionship and sustainment. You were a large part of that happening for her, as you passed on so much wisdom about giving bio kids (who often get the leftovers, if any, attention) a place of significance and unshakeable importance in the adoptive family. I am so grateful for the severe mercies heaven has extended all of us mommas in the trenches. Wishing you a romantic whirlwind trip to San Fran – Best, Caroline

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      December 11, 2015

      Caroline, thank you for your lovely comment – you blessed and encouraged me.

      Reply
      1. caroline
        December 24, 2015

        oh my – just checked out your recommended books on your amazon link thing to the right. such stellar books – do you mind if i share with some of my friends in process? don't make me count to three and grace based parenting are two books that we re-read EVERY year and have for the last 8 years – they are so outstanding.

        Reply
        1. Lisa Qualls
          December 26, 2015

          Yes, please share! I need to update that list and add more resources too.

          Reply
  2. Julie Gumm
    December 11, 2015

    If you have time, drive out to Sausalito and have lunch on the back patio of Sam's overlooking the bay. It's a beautiful drive across the bridge and a quaint little town. The Palace of Fine Arts is also really pretty. And of course you have to indulge in a sundae at Ghirardelli Square.And Puccini and Pinetti is one of my favorite restaurants near Union Square.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      December 11, 2015

      I think we'll be staying near Union Square so maybe we'll get to try it!

      Reply
  3. Glenda
    December 11, 2015

    S. F. is so much fun! My personal favorites are Pier 39, Alcatraz and Ghirardelli Square. Have a wonderful time!

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      December 12, 2015

      Thank you, Glenda. I hope it all comes together!

      Reply
  4. Pam
    December 11, 2015

    Lisa, After my husband died, (it was expected, not shocking as was your daughter), I remember a week later, a month later, a year later, thinking this time a week ago (a month ago, a year ago)… I remember writing in my computer journal how I could hardly wait for five years to pass by, ten, twenty, when the pain would be less, when the memories would fade, when I could just simply quit crying over losing him. I would think about all the "if only's" – he was on the list for a transplant which never came through – and just yesterday spent time writing and wondering about how changed his daughters' lives would have been had he lived. I always tell people that the "firsts" are the hardest to go through, and after that, we don't miss them less, we just learn to live with the pain/loss/memories better even 22 years later. I'm praying for you as you and your family go through this season of your life.

    Lisa, I hope you and your husband have an amazing time in SF. I've never been to the West Coast, so I have no places to tell you about. Sit quiet, or live large, enjoy the sunsets, and breath in the sunrises, shop, eat happy, read, and know…just simply know…without a doubt that the peace of God rests within. Blessings, love, peace and most of all hope sent from this reader to you.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      December 12, 2015

      Pam, your words brought tears to my eyes, not so much of sadness, but of being understood. Thank you.

      Reply
  5. shannon
    December 11, 2015

    Union square as a stay gives you lots of wander options. LOTS. do it. Take a cab to the big parks though the bus will take too long. Wander.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      December 12, 2015

      Thanks, Shannon.

      Reply
  6. Blessed
    December 15, 2015

    Are you already there? If so, may it be a blessing to you. If not, then I'm sending you a facebook message in case it's not too late–in case you are willing/able to meet up with a long-time reader! Check your "other" folder. : ) i would love to take you out to lunch.

    Reply
    1. Lisa Qualls
      December 16, 2015

      I would love to connect in SF. I'm having major tech problems and can't access my "other" folder. Can you send me a message via my One Thankful Mom FB page instead? I'll watch for it. Or email me at lisa@onethankfulmom.com

      Reply

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