Russ and I are hoping to make a trip to San Francisco. It’s strange that we can go away without fear of life at home being out of control, or even dangerous. His work requires him to travel, but when life was unstable and difficult, he wasn’t able to leave us.
As we talked about this trip, I realized that I’m not afraid to leave the kids at home. Well, that’s not entirely true. I’m not afraid that the kids will be unmanageable for the person left in charge; we’re still dealing with challenges that wear us out, but life isn’t dangerous.
But I am still afraid.
This morning, as I was pulling on warm clothes to come downstairs in the wee hours, I remembered the sweater I was wearing the day of the accident. It was a favorite color of mine. I was struck by the realization that when I got dressed that morning, I had no idea what was about to happen. I didn’t know that just an hour later we would be in a terrible accident and lose Kalkidan.
Maybe we’re never safe – or maybe we’re always safe because we’re held in the palm of God’s hand.
This is the way the thoughts move through my mind nearly every day.
But back to San Francisco. Russ will be busy working during the days, which means I can have quiet days of reading and writing, or I can wander the city. I’m not sure what I’ll want to do.
Have you been to San Francisco? What do you recommend?
Can you believe it’s only two weeks until Christmas? Does that strike fear in your heart, joyful anticipation,or a mixture of both? I’m setting goals each day, doing my best to prepare and not panic at the last minute.
Have a wonderful Friday, friends. I appreciate you reading my thoughts and allowing me to process – I’m so thankful for you.
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