Tuesday Topic: Changes in Birth Order
Taking a Breath
My Learning Curve: Meat + More Meat = Security
Walking Humbly
One More First Day of School
Madison’s Run
Dr.Karyn Purvis’ New Sensory Resource!
My Learning Curve: That Darn Beef Jerky
My Learning Curve: Making a Food Plan
This photo of Dimples was taken the day we met her. You see her surrounded by other children as they play with balloons we carried on our long journey to Ethiopia.
We knew Dimples was ours, but we had no idea that the little girl on the left, now lovingly nicknamed Honeybee, would become our daughter. Honestly, it amazes me to witness the hand of God in our lives. He knew — He really knew that this child who happened to be in front of my camera would be my daughter. I am in awe of this.
Three years ago today we met all four of our Ethiopian children for the first time. I’ll always remember that day which was filled with so many unknowns and emotion. [...]
We just spoke with Honeybee and our friends in Ethiopia. Signe described Honeybee’s visit to her family as an Ethiopian version of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Everybody came to her grandmother’s house to see her, aunts, uncles, cousins, and neighbors. They were so excited to have her visit and everyone wanted to hug her. Signe said Honeybee was shy and reserved, which was difficult for her family, but hopefully they understood. We laughed when Signe told us that Honeybee’s grandmother brought out a large photo of Honeybee as a chubby, naked baby, and Honeybee was mortified. I can completely imagine it.
They had just finished breakfast at the hotel, but Honeybee’s family served a large meal and did a coffee ceremony. Two hours later they visited Signe’s son’s family and were served another meal. When that visit was complete, the driver asked if they wanted to have lunch and they all answered, “NO!” You just don’t turn down a meal prepared especially for you when visiting in Ethiopia, so three meals in three hours was plenty.
The trip to Jimma was good, with exciting hair pin turns on narrow roads, people and animals walking in the middle of the road, and one lazy cow that was actually sleeping in the road. They stayed in a hotel that Signe described as “interesting”. They were on the third floor, so they had no water the first day, except a bucket that was filled at the well outside the hotel.
Today they are going to the German Embassy to get Jubilee’s transit visa, then they are off to visit our friend Hanna and her ministry, Children’s Heaven. Tomorrow they plan to visit Dimples’ family. They are going to be exhausted when they finally get on the plane to fly home.
For those of you who know Jubilee (Beautiful M. from Big AHOPE), it sounds like she is doing great. She is very eager to get to America and begin school with her brothers and sisters.
~Lisa
While Honeybee is in Ethiopia with Signe, Michele and Heather, I have two other friends also traveling to meet their new children.
Jen is a friend from our first adoption and we share a small circle of friends from that time. Jen is in Ethiopia right now and recently started a blog, Coming Home. If you want an up close and personal account of somebody traveling to Ethiopia, meeting their child, and then adjusting to life with a new daughter, you will enjoy following Jen’s new blog.
My other friend, Lisa, is a blog friend who contacted me when they were thinking about adopting a child from Ethiopia. Now she is in Ethiopia also meeting her new daughter. In addition, she and her husband are traveling to Soddo, where Eby and Little Man are from, and will be delivering pictures of the boys for me. I have had very few opportunities to get information to Eby’s family (Little Man’s family is now in Addis), so I was so excited to learn they were traveling there. We had quite an amazing adventure, so it will be interesting to talk to her once she is home.
In addition, Lisa is an extraordinary Creative Memories consultant. When I emailed photos of Eby to her, I had no idea she would take the time (the very day before she departed) to not only print them, but put them in a darling album. I could not believe it when she emailed these photos to me. You can follow her blog, One Generation to Another, and have a front row seat to her experiences in Ethiopia and after arriving home.
I’ve added both blogs to my sidebar and look forward to watching my friends’ stories unfold.
~Lisa
I attempted to comfort Honeybee at her AHOPE farewell party – August 2008. She hardly knew me and could not speak English, yet she clung to me. She knew she wanted a mommy and was willing to accept my attempts.I spoke with Honeybee again last night. We have been using Skype to call the Ritmo Guest House cell phone, and other than a slight delay, the connection has been good.
I asked her about the AHOPE farewell party for Jubilee and L. and she said it was sad. Everybody cried…”except me”. They sang songs and had treats like biscuits (cookies), and kolo. When I asked if the grown ups cried too, she said yes, “everyone cried, Mom”. I clearly remember Honeybee’s farewell, which was so sad, and I had such mixed feelings about taking her from the people who loved her.
Michele later told me that Honeybee was very reserved at the party, which was difficult for some of her nannies. She is uncomfortable because she can’t speak Amharic and she is afraid she won’t understand them – or that she won’t be able to respond. She finally warmed up after the party when she went into her old room with a group of girls. Heather managed to follow and get some pictures of her with her friends. She also noticed that they were eagerly speaking English with her.
I talked with Michele and she feels that although Honeybee is reserved about trying to speak Amharic, she honestly may not be able to do it. I had such hope that the Amharic would come back to her, but perhaps at this stage in her English language development, that isn’t possible for her.
Honeybee told me that she enjoyed shopping with Aunt Michele and Heather, and bought a beautiful scarf. Aunt Michele also added that Honeybee took many pictures on their outing which included Holy Trinity Cathedral and museum.
She was looking forward to having doro wat for dinner, and had some good tibs the night before.
They leave on their journey to Jimma tonight (Friday morning for them). Please pray that they will be safe and the trip will fulfill many hopes and dreams.
Honeybee with her nannies – August 2008~Lisa
I just got off the phone with Honeybee and Michele. I got a lump in my throat when I heard my girl’s voice; I miss her. Honeybee sounds good. She was happy to see her friend, Jubilee and her other special friend, L., who is being escorted to the US. L. will be leaving Ethiopia tonight.
When they went to AHOPE to meet Jubilee the nannies and other staff were very surprised to see Honeybee and exclaimed over her. She was a little shy because she couldn’t understand their Amharic – which is so sad and difficult to imagine after only 16 months – and I’m sure the nannies were completely baffled by it. Gail, with AAI, did some interpreting and I think it all went well.
I haven’t heard much about Signe’s first meeting with Jubilee, which is the entire purpose of this trip!
The three girls got their hair braided yesterday, and the other two girls were quite tough, but Honeybee didn’t tolerate it too well. Michele told her that there was no turning back…her hair had been unbraided and it had to be done. Honeybee also wasn’t very happy that the power was out, which meant only cold water for hair washing. She has grown accustomed to some American comforts, and I’ll admit, I’m partial to hot water. L.’s hair had been cut short, so they had extensions put in, which I’m sure delighted her. Jubilee and Honeybee opted for matching braided hairstyles. Honeybee requested to have the ends of the braids left loose for a puff, but Michele but the nix on that. Combing out snarls is no fun, so her hair is braided right to the ends.
Today Signe, Jubilee, and L. are at the U.S. Embassy. Michele, Heather, and Honeybee are going shopping. This afternoon there will be a special farewell party at AHOPE for the two girls. I clearly recall how emotional Honeybee’s farewell was. She cried, I cried, the nannies cried…but there were happy moments too. We still laugh about the “bompolinos”, huge doughnuts (I have no idea how to spell it,) Honeybee requested as a special treat for her party.
Friday morning they will travel to Jimma and return Saturday evening, or possibly Sunday. The social worker is going to contact Honeybee’s family today to let them know she is coming.
How I wish I were with them…but I am content and happy that Honeybee is having this amazing experience.
Thanks for following along on Honeybee’s journey to Ethiopia.
~Lisa
Honeybee is in the air on her way to Ethiopia. We dropped her off at Signe’s house last night where she spent the night before getting up to leave at 4:00AM. They had an easy drive to Seattle, with the exception of nearly hitting a deer. I spoke with Honeybee three times before she boarded her plane, and she seemed relaxed and happy.
This journey is so important for her, and now that the busy work of getting Honeybee ready to go has ended, I find myself feeling the weight of it. She is traveling to her birthplace for the first time in her memory, and meeting relatives who have not seen her since she was a baby. I hope they tell her stories about her mother that she can treasure in her heart. I get tears in my eyes just thinking of it.
We don’t actually know that this meeting is going to take place the way we hope it will. We only know that Adoption Advocates International will make every effort for it to happen. The agency has arranged a driver and social worker who will take them to Jimma where Signe’s son also has family. They plan to visit both families…but I know that plans don’t always work out the way we hope they will. My prayer is that at the very least she will see her grandmother and her older sister.
You’ll have to forgive the quality of the picture above, but I forgot my camera and had to use my phone. Signe and Honeybee are standing next to a photo of beautiful Jubilee, who will return with them in 12 days. Having been through the process four times, I still find myself in awe of what Signe is about to do – to meet a child who is a stranger, take her in her arms and heart, and make Jubilee her daughter. So beautiful.
I hope to hear from them and will update my blog as their trip progresses.
[Update 1/11/10 noon: Signe emailed to say they arrived safely and are at the guest house. I hope to hear from them tomorrow!]
~Lisa
Honeybee and I are packing for her big trip. She leaves for Ethiopia bright and early on Sunday morning. I am very sad that I am not traveling with her, along with my friends Signe, Michele, and Heather. Signe’s husband, Rick, is driving them to Seattle early in the morning to catch an afternoon flight that will take them to Frankfurt and then on to Addis Ababa.
Honeybee can think of nothing but her trip and wants me to do the same…which is a little challenging given that I have ten other children. She has been counting down the days for the last few weeks and is beside herself with excitement.
Yesterday I printed photos for Honeybee, Dimples, and Little Man’s families that are now neatly arranged in small albums. Honeybee is particularly excited to give her grandmother the pictures. I shopped for small gifts, bought “just add water” foods, chocolate (of course), and hair care supplies. I also got a shirt for Jubilee (Honeybee’s friend who is coming home with her new mom, Signe) that matches Honeybee’s, a sleep cap for Jubilee, and two fun card games for the girls.
After searching high and low, I finally found a small, round locket to put photos of Russ and me in for Honeybee to wear while she is apart from us. A friend asked if I am worried about her attachment to us and whether she will want to stay in Ethiopia. I confidently said, “No, we want to encourage her relationships with her extended family and friends.” But deep in my heart…there is an inkling of insecurity. It flits through my stomach every once in awhile, and my mind rushes to anxious thoughts. Yet I believe with all my heart that maintaining her love for Ethiopia and her family is the healthiest and best thing for Honeybee. I only wish I could be with her.
Back to packing!
~Lisa
Honeybee’s passport! She leaves for Ethiopia on January 10th and is getting more excited each day.
~Lisa
Thank you for your patience with my lack of blogging. We had the most wonderful Thanksgiving, with lots of special time with our children and good friends, which left little time for sitting at the computer. I have to admit, although I missed blogging and worried a little bit that I might slip into oblivion, I am glad I spent the time as I did. In addition to Thanksgiving festivities, we have been on the road to and from Seattle, which takes a full two or more days each week. The trips have been worth every minute spent, but they take a lot out of me.
Our Tuesday Topic this week was:
Apart from meeting your child, what was a highlight of your experience when you traveled to your child’s country of birth?
I loved reading your answers to this question and was especially pleased to see the many countries you represent: China, Guatemala, Ethiopia, and India. Here are excerpts of your answers, the full responses can be found in the comments of the original post, Tuesday Topic: Adoption Travel Highlights.
We were also able to personally observe the socio-economic climate of India. There is a huge chasm between the very poor and those who are doing well. It was a shock to us as insulated Americans who had never been to a third world or developing nation to see poverty everywhere you looked.
We now have an intense desire to be involved in whatever ways we can in easing the suffering of the poor all over the world. When you see it face to face you are never the same…
I was in Ethiopia for a month and aside from meeting/being with Ava the highlight of my trip was the time I spent at Mother Theresa’s orphanage working with the children and the time I spent out in Addis talking with, praying with, feeding the people I came into contact with. I am so thankful that my daughter was able to spend time with me in Addis really engaging in an activity that is very important to me. Buying and giving food to the beggars on the street and then praying for them – in our first few days of meeting, my daughter was able to see what is important to me – she got to see who I am… We worked at 5 different care centers – together, side-by-side and if you ask her today she will tell you that the time we spent doing that was the best part of our time in Ethiopia – and I agree 100%!
Jon and Jamie said…
I loved meeting people and seeing the gorgeous ethiopian countryside. The city is a study of contrasts, but I enjoyed all of the smells, sounds and sights, I absorbed the wonder of a country so steeped in history and rich culture. for me though the highlight truly was the people, they are so warm and generous, gentle and caring, a woman tried to give me her umbrella, the only item she had, for my little guy to keep the sun off. Everyone was so kind and helpful, and their love for children is so apparent, from the first hours in the country when my eldest did not feel well and little old ladies petted her back and offered her soda, to the grandmother who blessed Amelia and Gabe and admonished them to be good(I think that is what she was saying:) everyone loved my children as their own.
Also seeing AHOPE was a huge highlight…
Donna said…
I loved being able to visit historical landmarks around China and see (and touch) beautiful things that were many hundreds of years old! Nothing we have in the USA is that old! It really gave me goosebumps!
Donna
Our Blog: Double Happiness!
This is an easy question! Meeting all the other families and watching them meet their daughters for the first time. I felt so honored and the bond between all of us is going strong two years later. We communicate via email and facebook and we had a reunion this summer. I expected to meet great people but I was pleasantly surprised to find that they became my family. These precious girls have so many adults who love them and it thrills me to know that as they grow up they will have each other to lean on too. We are all so incredibly blessed.
Shonah said…
The highlight of our trip to Ethiopia aside from finally getting our hands on our baby was visiting Lalibela. We visited Lalibela for the first 3 days our our trip to Ethiopia. We hired a guide that was awesome and saw the amazing churches within Lalibela and several outside of Lalibela. We were treated to a coffee ceremony and taken out to listen to traditional music and see traditional dancing.
We sat out on our balcony that over looked part of the town and had amazing views of the mountians. We watched life in Lalibela happen before our eyes; children herding animals, women weaving baskets, men using mules to carry stone. We listened to the sounds, breathed in deep the aroma and took in the beauty of this holy little city in Ethiopia…
triplehmoms said…
… I also think if you are able to meet the birthfamily of your child you should do so. It may be scary to you and a bit awkward, but if the family is able to communicate that they are ok with the child going, it could be an easier transition. In other words, the family could give the child “permission” to go with the adoptive family. If you are unable to meet the birthfamily or if the birthfamily has not played the role of a care taker for the child, having the care taker tell your child these things is important. Even though we can recognize that our family situation is “better,” the child’s current living situation is his life. I don’t know if I am making sense here or not. Lastly, I would suggest that you plan to return to your child’s country of birth. I know that when I return to Guatemala with my daughters, one of my daughters always tells me “I’m home now, Mommy.” Yes, she loves me and I love her. She, however, feels Guatemalan and will always be “at home” there.
Mamita J said…
…We met a native Guatemalan family (Edwin and Nely) through a friend here in town, before we had our referral. They happened to live near Antigua, which is a lovely vacation destination. The wife has a booth in the artisans market. (It’s one of my very favorite places in the world.) So on our first visit, we met up with them and they took us to their home in the nearby village. They were so warm and hospitable. It gave us such an appreciation of and respect for the people of Guatemala.
On our third trip, we met two young girls named Flor and Vincy. They absolutely grabbed our hearts. It was right before Christmas. We took them out to eat, and my mom gave them money for shoes for Christmas. We gave them the jackets off our backs. They were so grateful, they cried. So did we. :-)
When I got back home, I brought pictures to my friend. As we were looking at the pictures, her mouth dropped open. “That’s Flor!” She recognized our little friend! It turns out that Flor is Edwin’s niece! …
Ajay said…
When God first put adopting from Ethiopia on our heart, we started to sponsor a child in Ethiopia, three years later, while we were picking up our son we got spend a day going to visit the child we had been sponsoring! It turned out he lived just three miles from the guest house we stayed in! We’ve now signed up to sponsor two more girls from Ethiopia and when we travel to pick up our daughter, hopefully we’ll be able to visit them too! It just makes us feel more connected to our kids birth country by being able to be apart of other childrens lives! What a blessing all around!
Heidi Mehltretter said…
Our ultimate highlight was taking all three of my kids with me and spending a month in Ethiopia getting to know our newest son in HIS environment, then traveling home with four kids and managing to do almost all of it with frequent flyer miles! Best vacation of my life, with the exception of missing my husband and wishing he could share the experience with us.
Although Russ is a seasoned world traveler, I had not traveled much outside of the US prior to our adoptions. I didn’t know what to expect or how I would handle being so far outside of my normal life. I was happy to discover that I loved being in Ethiopia. There were discomforts, lack of water and jet lag were the two most difficult, but I am so thankful we have been able to experience our childrens’ home country. I have now been to Ethiopia twice and Russ has
been three times.
The highlight of each trip has been spending time with our children’s family members. Last August when we went to get Honeybee, we traveled to Soddo where our boys were born. While there we went on the adventure of a lifetime searching for Eby’s grandfather. I will never forget the kind people, beautiful scenery, precarious roads, hyenas, or the joy we all felt when we finally made our way to his round, mud tukul in the darkness of night. The memories of that trip will always be with us.
Next week’s Tuesday Topic will be up tomorrow! If you have a topic/question you would like to suggest, please email it to me at: thankfulmom[at]gmail[dot]com
Please put Tuesday Topic in the subject line.
I’m off to Seattle!
~Lisa
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