Grief
One of the great things about having older children who don’t live at home, is they see us through fresh eyes. They know us extremely well, but they aren’t with us day after day.
Sweet Pea made an insightful comment last weekend that I’ve been turning over in my mind for days. For three and a half years Russ and I have been trying everything we possibly can to bring healing to Dimples’ broken heart, teach her to be a “family girl”, give her strategies for calming herself, and on and on. Sweet Pea observed that for the first time Dimples seems to be working with us – not just waiting for us to fix her, or even resisting healing. She wants this for herself.
Big Kid Date Night
Last Saturday we sat around a long table, just ten of us, drawing on paper placemats as we waited for our calzones to arrive. We laughed, told stories, and enjoyed being together. Nobody spilled their drink, complained about the food, or crawled under the table. This was a date with our big kids and was one of the best uses of our time and money that we’ve made in a long time.
When we were in Montana last month, Russ and I had time to reflect on our life as a family. The most significant thing that came to us was the impact our adoptions have had on our older children.
Five of my six beautiful daughters -- with Honeybee in the middle.
I asked Honeybee if she wanted to write about how she feels when I am sick to help other mothers understand how their children might feel. This is what she wanted to share with you.
When Mommy is sick I feel sad and have bad feelings. I am afraid that she will die because my Mom died before by getting sick. When Mommy tells me she only has a cold, I just feel madder because it just reminds me more that she might die. It doesn’t matter that it is only a cold.
This week’s Tuesday Topic comes from Kirstine who wrote:
I have a bio son who is 3 and an adopted boy who is 10 months old. It’s a domestic adoption, and people cannot see that he is adopted if I don’t tell. But I’m very open about it because I want to raise awareness of adoption and especially open adoption in my country (I live in Denmark). I get to share our story quite often.
Rusty and Honeybee on Panic Plunge.
A couple of weeks ago I was sick with a virus that wore me out more than I would have expected. I still went about caring for my family, but occasionally I would sit down to rest or take a short nap. Honeybee was unsettled by this. Several times she asked me, “Are you sick? Are you going to die? When will you get better?”
I assured her that I was fine and that it was only a little virus that was making me tired. She wasn’t all that comforted.
This week’s Tuesday Topic comes from Karen who wrote:
I am HOPEFULLY going to bring my daughter-to-be home by the end of this year. She is a little over 5 1/2 years old and has lived in orphanages in Guatemala for 4 1/2 of those years. She is familiar with me (I visit her every few months) and while she doesn’t necessarily understand that I am her Mommy, she does know that I am called Mommy and am a special person in her life.
My questions are for those that have already brought home older children: what 3 things did you do that really helped to ease the transition of your child into your family and what 3 things do you wish you had done?
My heart is broken
My mommy and daddy died
I have a hard life
I have to get used to a new family
I just don’t know it
But God has given me a good family now
I thank God that He has given me a good family
I love my Mom and Dad
Lisa Qualls
