I am excited to have wedding photos to share!
Faith
Pruning by Chainsaw
We had some crazy, overgrown rose bushes on the north side of our house. Eleven years ago when we moved here, the roses were lovely. Planted by a true gardener, they had colorful blooms and were pleasantly pruned. Then we arrived. I am sad to confess that I am not much of a gardener. I had six children, homeschooled, and although I liked flowers, I didn’t have enough interest or time to learn about something as fussy as roses.
The plants grew larger and wilder. On occasion we pruned them or treated them for aphids, but for the most part, they grew and we were happy with whatever colorful flowers managed to appear. Then Mimi decided to have her wedding reception in the yard and it was time to whip the roses into shape.
My friend Amy came over and looked at the huge, overgrown plants. She said it was time to prune them down — way down — to knee height. The question was how to go about it. The roses were covered with thorns and had long crazy branches.
She looked at me and said, “Well, Russ could take a chainsaw to them.” A chainsaw? Did I hear her correctly? I thought roses were delicate and needed to be handled with care. But these had grown so out of control that the severity of a chainsaw was needed to bring them back to health.
Happy Sunday! Stop by my friend, Signe’s blog, Letting Love Cover It and read her great post, Where Are We? I loved it.
I’m blessed to live only a few minutes away from Signe and have her along on this wild adoption ride.
~Lisa
I woke early this morning and quietly crept out of bed, trying not to wake Russ. The morning was cool, and the light was gentle. In two hours it will be hot and the sun will shine harshly — I’m not into suffering, so I prefer to run early. Without Russ, I can run as slowly as I like, which goes along with not liking to suffer.
As I was running, my mind drifted to a post I wrote recently about Restorative Sabbatical. I wrote,
I’m going to be honest here; we have had three long hard years. Life is getting better, there is no doubt…
I thought of my children and my heart was heavy. These three years have not only been hard for us, they have been equally, or possibly even harder, for them. While our lives have been turned upside down, it cannot compare to the changes they have faced.
This is the sweetest video; you must watch it. Eileen shared the story of her daughter’s healing with me and rather than just send you to the No Hands But Ours site, I decided to post it here. I want to increase the odds that you will actually click on it!
You can also visit the original post, My Baby Tells Her Story.
I watched this with several of my kids and we were all laughing and crying. Sweet Pea is going to share it with her fellow med students — it’s that good.
Happy Sunday.
~Lisa
If your life is strained and parenting your children from the “hard places” is wearing you down, you may begin to think that hope is lost. Is there anything you can do to turn your life around? I hope that this series of posts is encouraging you to try something new. It is very difficult to carve out time, but it may be necessary for you or your spouse to go to whatever lengths you must to find your way again.
Russ’ two Sabbatical Days had a huge impact – honestly, two 24 hour breaks transformed him. In the quiet, Russ was able to hear God and to let his mind sort through the challenges of the last three years.
If you are wondering why it is taking me so long to tell this story, it is because this Restorative Sabbatical has had such a profound impact on Russ, on our marriage, and ultimately on our family. The kids may not realize it yet…but their Dad is being renewed. The Daddy they’ve known and loved forever, the one who teases, and hugs, and reads stories, is no longer a grumpy shadow of himself. God is restoring him to us, and I am a very happy wife.
One night, in the midst of this healing journey, Russ was holding me tight and I started crying big, gulping sobs out of pure relief. He asked me what was wrong, and like a four year old, all I could answer was, “I was so scared.” I was looking toward our future with fear in my heart. What would I do if the man who held us all together was never going to be happy again?
So, stick with me a little longer and maybe there will be something here that will be helpful to you.
Russ climbing his research tower - science is thrilling.
Picking up where I left off from Restorative Sabbatical Part 1, Deborah gave us an assignment.
First, we were to ruthlessly go through our schedule cutting out everything we could and zealously guarding our time.
Second, for one month Russ needed to take regular breaks to rest, reflect, and be restored. He could follow what Deborah Gray calls the 3-4-12 rule and take three, four hour breaks each week, or he could “cancel” one day each week. We opted for canceling a day and seeing if that would be enough.
In her book, Nurturing Adoptions, Deborah Gray writes:
I use the twelve-hour-a-week rule for parents who are tired, burnt out, or worn. I suggest the adult spend twelve hours a week, either in three four-hour chunks, or four three-hour chunks, doing nothing but what is pleasurable for them. (p. 334)
I recall reading that and thinking it sounded nice (but rather cushy) for people who couldn’t quite cut it and had lots of extra time and/or money on their hands.
The Ring Saga continued:
Now the search for a new wedding band began. We went to a few jewelry stores, where they all shook their heads sadly at the current state of Russ’ ring. It was cut in two places to get it off his finger, so it looks rather sad. Some stores suggested we consider upgrading, but I’m far too sentimental to even consider that.
We agreed that it was crazy to spend much money on a temporary ring, so after wandering through the mall, we finally ended up at Wal Mart (believe it or not) and for $48 we bought Russ a new ring. The young man working at the jewelry counter gave us a very strange look when we asked if they had any “cheap wedding bands.” We were pleasantly surprised to find that with the advent of new metals being used for rings, there were several attractive choices. Russ’ finger is still too swollen to wear it on his left hand, so for the time being it is on his right hand but he’ll move it when his hand feels better.
We completely embarrassed the kid when I asked him to be our witness and I put the ring on Russ’ finger saying, “Wear this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.” Then for good measure I added, “With this ring I remain wed for another 26 years…and more.” Then we kissed. It was a very romantic Wal Mart moment. You should have been there.
On the day of our anniversary, we snuck away to a movie at 3:30 in the afternoon and then went to dinner. It was fabulous being together! After dinner we walked next door to Big 5 and bought new running shoes for each other. We’ve been needing to replace our shoes for months and although it wasn’t romantic, we hope it bodes well for a healthy, vibrant year.
Here’s to marriage, laughter, wedding bands, and growing old together!
P.S. I’ve heard this is a great book; have you read it? What did you think? I have to confess, I bought it as a gift for my dear friend and haven’t gotten a copy of it for myself. I’ve been meaning to…shall I add it to my ever-growing list?
~Lisa
Russ and I celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary last week. We met the week I turned 17; we were seniors in high school. God has been so good to me and I am profoundly thankful for my husband and our marriage.
Strangely, just in time for our anniversary, Russ’ ring had to be cut off — a first after 26 years of continuous wear.
One Thankful Mom
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