Dimples is grieving and it breaks my heart. Yesterday, as I cooked dinner, she began to talk about her upcoming birthday and what she wants for dinner. I mentioned that we should find out if she can bring birthday treats for her class at her new school, to which she replied that she was going to take treats to her “real school” and “real friends.” When I explained that would not be possible, the grief hit her afresh.
I had just read a chapter in The Whole-Brain Child about recognizing when our child is function in their right-brain – the part of the brain that is more emotional and non-verbal, rather than ordered and logical like the left-brain. The book recommended connecting with our child using our right brain, empathizing with their feelings, and not trying to teach logical, word-based solutions in that moment.
I sat next to her, even though at one point she pushed me away, put my hand gently on her (nonverbal connection), and offered comforting words such as: “This is really hard,” “I see that you feel very sad.” I avoided saying logical left-brain things like, “It takes time to make new friends, but I’m sure you will have some soon,” or “It’s only been three days; I’m sure you’ll like your new school because it is going to be better for you,” etc. Eventually she leaned against me and allowed me to comfort her a little.
Later that afternoon she called the girls from her previous class and invited them all to come over after school on Friday. These are precious friendships and we’re going to do what we can to maintain them.
We had an appointment with Dimples’ new principal this morning and hope to arrange a meeting with her “team” next week. We hope this extra support will help her have a good year.
One last thing, I have hardly begun reading The Whole-Brain Child and would still love to discuss it with any of you who are able to join me. I’m worried about trying to add a weekly live meeting to my schedule under the current circumstances. However, I’ve heard we might be able to do a group through Goodreads and that might not be too complicated.
Is there anybody who would like to figure out how to set a bookgroup up (through Goodreads or another source) and coordinate it with me? Email me and let me know firstname.lastname@example.org
EDIT: I have a volunteer! I’ll let you all know as soon as we get it set up. I’m excited about this and glad to know we’ll all really read and process the information in this book.
Have a great Thursday, friends. The sun is shining here and it is a spectacular fall day – it couldn’t be much more beautiful.