Today’s Tuesday Topic is from Nancy who asks,
My 11 year-old daughter will work well when SHE wants to, but I never know from day to day how that is going to unfold. Everyone else in the family (the other 9 children, including her adopted brothers), knows they need to work as part of the family, and play comes later, and you can even make work fun if you just do it cheerfully. (Nutshell synopsis there). She, on the other hand will stall, pout, grumble, and take for.ev.er to do whatever she’s asked, or do it poorly, so then I have to go through the hassle of having her re-do it, which is just as painful.
What am I missing? Do I just absolve her of any work? Do I follow her around correcting her ( no. Misery.). Is there some deep adoption trauma associated with this that I don’t know about? She says she just doesn’t like the jobs. If she doesn’t feel like it, she won’t do it. How do you teach someone the world doesn’t work that way?
In her email, Nancy also explained that her daughter was adopted more than five years ago, and she added, “ life is a real struggle… lots of lying, deception, inconsistency, bullying/dominating the littler kids, and disconnect from the older kids.”
Will you take a moment to share your thoughts and strategies with Nancy? I’m sure we would all benefit from some fresh ideas on this topic!
If you have a Tuesday Topic you would like me to share, please email it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
I made it home from MN and today I’m jumping into a (hopefully) very productive homeschooling morning. My visit with Hannah was wonderful, and it was very hard to say goodbye. Next up, a trip to Montana for a Family Day with Dimples.