In response to our last Tuesday Topic, a friend messaged me with this question.
Just curious how I should handle a child who acts out in order to get “time in” with me. When she wants my attention she will act out so that she gets to be near me.
That’s a very good question, one I’m sure therapists would answer in a variety of ways.
I would love to offer a formula for how to deal with this problem, but our children are unique and no matter how hard we try, they just don’t fit into tidy formulas.
That being said, there are a few things I think about when my kids use difficult behavior to get my attention.
Our kids are always speaking to us, sometimes with words, and quite often with their behavior. When my child is disrespectful, dysregulated, or disinclined to be pleasant (I had to add one more dis- word) he is speaking in a language I need to understand.
So, how do we respond?