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In response to our last Tuesday Topic,  a friend messaged me with this question.

Just curious how I should handle a child who acts out in order to get “time in” with me. When she wants my attention she will act out so that she gets to be near me.

That’s a very good question, one I’m sure therapists would answer in a variety of ways.

I would love to offer a formula for how to deal with this problem, but our children are unique and no matter how hard we try, they just don’t fit into tidy formulas.

That being said, there are a few things I think about when my kids use difficult behavior to get my attention.

Our kids are always speaking to us, sometimes with words, and quite often with their behavior. When my child is disrespectful, dysregulated, or disinclined to be pleasant (I had to add one more dis- word) he is speaking in a language I need to understand.

So, how do we respond?

Russ' parents - circa 1940's

Russ’ parents – circa 1940’s

Early Sunday morning, as we were preparing to celebrate the resurrection of our savior, Russ’ dad went to be with Jesus. He lived a remarkable life full of adventure. In every moment of his life, he was looking for ways to serve the Lord he loved so well.

Russ’ parents live in Mexico most of the year, so Russ is on his way to Guadalajara now to be with his mom and help in the coming days.

Earlier this week, Russ and I were talking about evaluating our life again – refocusing and making sure we are putting our hearts into the important – like the people we love. The urgent is always calling, and we don’t want it to control our lives.

Friends, life is short. I’ve lost three people I love very much in the past 15 months. I’m flooded with emotion and feel compelled to live my life in a way that honors God.

This evening I was talking with Mimi, and she said, “I can just picture Kalkidan running up to Grandpa with a huge smile, grabbing him by the hand and saying, ‘Come on! I can’t wait to show you everything!'”

Thank you for the many prayers you’ve offered for our family. Please hold Russ, his mom, his siblings and all the rest of us in your prayers in the coming days.

Hug your family close.


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In the wake of our accident and losing Kalkidan, my sweet friend, Sarah, wanted to do something as a gift for me. She is very talented and loves to decorate, paint, and build. She even makes excellent kombucha, which I find impressive.

Sarah asked if there was a project in my house that she could tackle for me. The first thing I thought of was the horrid wallpaper in the upstairs, kids bathroom. Could it be stripped and could the walls be painted?

Carrying the Christmas tree up through our pasture at sunset. 2014

Carrying the Christmas tree up through our pasture at sunset. 2014

I think I’ve recovered enough from Share Thanksgiving to being preparing for Advent. I need to clear space in heart, mind, and home.

It’s the Saturday between – autumn and Thanksgiving are ending, winter and Advent are beginning. It’s time to replace the bowl of decorative gourds on the dining room table with pine cones and candles.

If you’re still thinking about buying an Advent book, Amazon is offering 30% off any one book (up to $10 off) through November 29.

Alternately, my friend, Emily, suggested making the most of this code by using it for expensive books, like Christmas pop up books. Her top picks are The 12 Days of Christmas Anniversary Edition: A Pop-up Celebration, Snowflakes: A Pop-up Book; 5th Anniversary Edition (I want this one!), and Woodland Christmas: A Festive Wintertime Pop-Up Book.

Thanksgiving was wonderful in so many ways, and yet it was laced with sadness. Kalkidan loved a feast more than anyone I know, and she was on my mind all day. Honestly, I was just about to write, “Kalkidan loved a feast more than anyone I know, and she would have been in heaven Thursday.” Then I remembered that she actually is in heaven.

three in orange

giving thanks #1701- 1710

a bright, sunny Saturday

boys riding bikes up and down the driveway

Share Thanksgiving only three days away


If you’ve been reading my blog for long, you know I love Advent. I have so many things to write about today, but Advent begins in a little over a week (Sunday, November 29th), and it’s time to do a little planning.

Advent is a time to settle down, calm our hearts, and draw closer to Jesus as we prepare to celebrate His birth.

All you really need is a candle, a Bible, and a simple schedule for daily readings. Come to think of it, you don’t even need to own a Bible – you can find all that you need online – but if you don’t own a Bible, you need one. If you can’t buy one, message me and I’ll mail one to you. God’s Word is life for your soul!

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Thank you to everyone who commented on Four Tips for Better Sleep. I’m not alone! I struggle with sleep, and it’s easy to feel like I’m the only one who is up in the middle of the night feeling miserable. Apparently there are quite a few of us.

My doctor explained to me that there are three phases in the process of waking: Asleep, Aware, Awake.

This understanding helps me get more sleep. Now I recognize when I’m just beginning to become aware. My eyes may not be open yet, and I’m still in a very restful state. If I can resist the urge to begin actively thinking about anything specific, and if I can avoid moving too much, getting up to go to the bathroom, or even looking at the clock, I can often drift back down into sleep.


Summer is nearly over and I have not yet finished this little series of updates! I’m going wrap up my big kids today.

Mimi had a summer full of travel. She has always wanted to see the world and have adventures. When she was in college she dreamed of being a travel writer. Life went a different direction, yet now, through her work in the gaming industry, she is traveling to conferences all over the world.

hannah work 2

Hannah just began the fourth year (of five) of her otolaryngology surgical residency. She has decided to specialize in pediatric head and neck surgery, which requires an additional fellowship after residency.

Applying to fellowships is a little bit like applying for residency; Hannah will submit her resume, personal statement, and letters of recommendation to programs around the country and travel for interviews. We hope she matches closer to home this time!

N and K move June

It’s August and I haven’t finished telling you what all of the kids are doing this summer. I need to get serious about finishing this little series.

This summer brought new adventures for Noah and Katie. They celebrated their first anniversary and they moved to Seattle, where they plan to live for the next few years of medical school at the University of Washington.

sunset wedding