
We have an all-time favorite thrift store in Langley, WA. Good Cheer always manages to add some joy to our Whidbey Island vacation. We shop for books and a few small toys or games to occupy the kids. Once in awhile I find a treasure I can’t pass up, like a lovely serving dish, or this year, a pair of Robeez for Little Man — blue with green geckos.
As I perused the used books, I picked up one by Anne Lamott. Skimming along, my eyes found this quote,
I’m not worried — I’m just very alert
That pretty much sums up my Dimples these days. It is as if a river of anxiety is running through my child and she just can’t keep it down. Sometimes it flows up in the form of hugs that are a little too tight and kisses that make me cringe, other times in all out turmoil.
Deborah told me to buy Dimples a new notebook and when she begins to flounder, have her write down her plan or draw a picture of how she wants things to go. I told Deborah about an incident where I told Dimples to stay on her bed until she could tell me her plan. Deborah reminded me that when children are stressed, their ability to verbally process begins to tank (my paraphrase). Dimples probably couldn’t tell me her plan…but maybe she could have drawn it for me.
Hypervigilance is fatiguing for the child and for the mom. Today it was in the form of constant questions and worries. I was exhausted by 10:00 AM. Not only did Dimples need a plan, so did I.
It reminds me of my friend Kimberly, who used to say this with her kids:
You’ve got to chill — out
You’ve got to settle — down
You’ve got to re — lax
We used to laugh just hearing her kids shout out the last word of each line.
Dimples had her notebook out three times this morning. On one page she drew a picture of herself smiling with the words, “I want my day to go good,” written underneath.
Me too, baby, me too.
~Lisa