My visit with Dimples was very good, and while I’m tempted to write about it in great detail, I’m pretty sure I won’t get it done, so today I’m going to share a few highlights.
1. She asked me to sit with her. When we arrived at the cottage, school was out and a few other parents were also there. One of the moms was tightening her daughter’s locs, and they planned to watch Frozen. Dimples asked if we wanted to watch, and then she pointed to a big, cushy rocking chair and casually said, “Do you want to sit with me?” Not too many months ago, she was assigned to sit in that chair with me for a specific number of minutes (I can’t recall how many at the moment), and she literally counted the seconds, keeping track of each 60 that passed, until the time was completed.
Last week Dimples began attending public school rather than the school on the campus of her program. This is huge for her and another leap of faith for me. It’s very hard for me to trust people to care for my children, and it’s taken me a long time to feel comfortable with the staff at her program. The thought of adding teachers and other staff, especially when I can’t be there, is tough.
On Tuesday night Dimples went to the Toby Mac concert with three other girls and some staff members. The family of one of the children has connections with Toby Mac and was able to get them tickets. It was a big event for her and she was excited to tell me all about it in our Skype session.
She said, “Mom, it only costs $35 a month to sponsor a child so they can have enough food and everything. I think we should do it.”
Over the past two days we’ve had three meetings for Dimples. We’ve had loads of meetings this year, but there was a distinct shift this week. We’re beginning to talk about the gradual transition home.
We need to do everything we can to ensure that Dimples will be successful living in the midst of family. Family has always been hard for her – always. Even before she came home from Ethiopia, family was difficult. Sadly, those early experiences set us up to be the hardest relationships for her.
This fall I began taking Bee to a new therapist who has been very effective at helping Bee understand trauma and its effects on her thoughts and actions. I’ve seen Bee grasp things on a much deeper level and she is incredibly motivated to do the hard work of therapy.
I love the way God works. We chose this therapist because she was literally our only local option. As we spent time with her, she said small things that made me wonder if she might be a Christian. Then one day we were talking about suffering and how it can create bitterness that is harmful to us. She suggested that, for homework, Bee might like to read The Hiding Place. Now, that’s pretty unusual homework from a therapist!
Last week I finally completed a pile of paperwork necessary for an evaluation for one of my children. The thick packet sat on my desk for over a month. Each time I pulled it out, held the color-coded pages in my hands, and thought about putting words to my thoughts, I couldn’t do it. From week to week, I moved this task to my new “to-do” list.
On Thursday I took the packet to a coffee shop and began to write. More than two hours later I found myself completing the last page. It didn’t take as long as I thought it would, but only for this reason, I simply left pages blank. Why would I do that? Why wouldn’t I want to give these professionals every detail I possibly could in order to help my child?
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I'm the mother of twelve by birth and adoption. Twenty-eight years ago I married my true love. Once lost and now found, I've been brought to my knees by grace. I am passionately devoted to healing my children who came to me with broken hearts. Join me on the journey.
I am One Thankful Mom.
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