How does shame affect the way we parent? We place such high expectations on ourselves, yet sometimes we find that even with the best education and support, our children’s brokenness is more than we can heal. We mothers should be able to heal our children, right? Well, I couldn’t, and I know that many of you can’t either. And while I can extend grace to others with relative ease, I struggle to extend it to myself.
I didn’t manage to post a Tuesday Topic last week and I missed hearing all of you share your great thoughts and encouraging words. This week’s question is from Gwen who wrote,
I would love to hear some discussion about how to deal with other children’s perceptions (and, often, rejection) of our special needs kids.
My school-aged children have lingering orphanage behaviours, and we often see these behaviours alienate our children from their peers. When they gorge their school lunches in front of classmates, or when they are confronted with a triggering situation and emotionally regress into preschool behaviours, their friends are confused and uncomfortable.
I’ve given birth eight times. Call me crazy, but I birthed my babies naturally, and half of them at home. Each labor brought me to a moment of not knowing if I could make it through. It was unbelievably hard and sometimes I was scared. But every single time I went into labor, I set my mind on the purpose of the contractions – my baby. I focused on the joy that would come when that little one was in my arms.
These years are like that. I’m laboring for my children who came to me from hard places. There are days when I don’t think I’ll make it through, when the pain is too great and I’m scared. I cry out for an emotional epidural.
This week’s Tuesday Topic comes from Carmen who writes the blog, Country Blessings. She asked,
We have adopted 4 children privately, the oldest was 3 when we adopted him, but now we are in the process of adopting a waiting child from our state. So most likely they will be older and possibly in school already. We have homeschooled our children in the past but currently have them enrolled in the public school.
Yesterday we framed this portrait of six-month old Bee being held in her mother’s arms. I’m fairly certain that the instant she saw it, it became her most precious possession. Our talented friend, Katie, drew it from an invaluable photo, the original of which is kept in our fire safe.
Bee shared this photo on Facebook yesterday and asked me to type the status to go with it as she dictated to me, “Thank you to Katie Smith for drawing this picture of me and my Mom. I love it!” I asked, “Do you want me to say your ‘Ethiopian Mom’?” She answered with surprise and certainty, “No, she’s my Mom.”
Yesterday we heard an amazing sermon about Elijah, who according to our pastor, had chutzpah. Apparently this can be translated a number of ways, but for the sake of this post, let’s say that Elijah was audacious. He was bold and daring – he had guts.
Last night I learned that the general session videos from Refresh 2013 have been posted. A number of you have asked if you could hear my talk, and with a little trepidation, I’m sharing the link. You may remember that my son, Isaiah, spoke briefly toward the end of my talk, and he was wonderful.
It’s Monday and life is picking up right where I left off – homeschooling, emails, dishes, laundry. While Refresh is intended to refresh the parents who come, I’m not sure that the same is true for the speakers and all of the people who make it happen; I have a conference hangover! I take full responsibility for the headache which is the result of not getting enough sleep, but I wanted to have as much time as possible with Isaiah and our friends.