This week’s Tuesday Topic was from Jamie who wrote,

We have 4 children Simeon(he died at birth), Josiah, Abigail, Anna (our names jamie and andy) as you can see our 3 children that are with us on earth here, (and our names) “ironically” start with the letters A and J- I’m not sure if i’m thinking about this too much but really want your input. Is it key to name our next child with an A or/a J? I would never want any of our children to feel like they were left out in any way and for me especially our children that will be adopted. I don’t want them to feel that way! does that make sense? is it crucial to have one of their names be Bulgarian. Another theme in our children that are living is that their middle names are missionaries! We really want to have a Biblical first name, as we like to pray verses of that person over their lives!

I loved reading your responses and the spirit in which they were offered.  You are a wonderful group of wise and kind women.  You can find the complete answers in the comments of the original post.  Here are some excerpts:

Karin Katherine wrote:

Since you say, “ironically” I would say that the A and J thing wasn’t a set plan for naming your children. With that in mind, I would say you should name your son whatever you feel called to name him and not over think it. Apparently when you named your other children you chose the name you felt was right for them. I think you should do the same for your son…

Eileen wrote:

Our first three children, Adam, Madeline, Abigail, went in an A-M-A pattern. When we were adopting our fourth child, the kids wanted another “M” name. We all agreed on the name Maya, not to stick with the pattern, but because we just really liked it. I liked not only the sound of it, but I loved the meaning, “God’s creative power.”

However, when we met her in China…

Thank you for all of your amazing responses; I must have the best readers in the world.  As I read through your comments this morning, and I found myself loving your wisdom and your beautiful hearts.

Our Tuesday Topic was from Ashley who wrote:

As we move closer and closer to finishing our adoption “work” and the word has begun to spread through our “community” about our adoption, I am being—more and more—confronted with conversations that honestly? Make my blood boil! Typically it goes something like this:

“Oh, you guys are adopting? That’s really great, there’s a huge need” (no harm yet, right??)

“I think that’s really awesome, I have just always wanted MY OWN KIDS”.

That phrase? Those 3 words? They stop me in my tracks. They anger me. They hurt my heart… As if, somehow? My path is less REAL than their path??? BUT. While I know how I feel about statements like that, I am also cautious to respond in an abrasive or defensive manner.

I WANT people to ask questions about adoption. I WANT to have the opportunities to speak freely about our family’s heart towards the need, our desire for children and a big-beautiful-even colorful family, and our trust in God to walk with us on our journey…

But, I also NEED to be able to teach others about the harm that statements like that cause…and hopefully do it in a way that is loving and reassuring so that they can still ask questions and learn more, but also recognize that they should NEVER suggest that our families are any less “real”.

Hoping someone out there can help???

Here are your responses.