Quiet – life feels quiet. There is a sense of peace in that quiet, space to breathe a little bit and even to think.
This is the first weekend I can remember when I haven’t anxiously tried to create a schedule that would minimize the risk of a crisis. It was essential that I never leave Dimples home if Russ and I weren’t here. If I had to leave her home (which was rare), I couldn’t leave her younger siblings at the same time without the potential for a problem. Scheduling, rescheduling, writing lists and plans, asking for help, making calls, sending texts and emails, were all part of my Fridays.
There are signs that life is changing in our home:
Eby and Little Man played Legos for nearly an hour with no disturbance.
We had a great discussion during Bible reading at the dinner table.
Bee asked if she could have a friend home for a sleep over tonight. (The last time she had a friend here, she was completely embarrassed by the raging going on and hasn’t tried again.)
Ladybug is also having a friend over tonight – I can’t remember the last time she wanted to have somebody here.
I have lots of sadness, and tears come easily. Honestly, the children have not expressed sadness at all; they seem lighter and calmer.
I got an email update this morning from Dimples’ case manager saying that she is continuing to settle in, is eating at least some of every meal, and is eager to begin actual schoolwork. I am so thankful for updates and seem to need one daily right now. It doesn’t feel right, at all, to trust others to take care of her – I’m trying to adjust to it, but it is definitely going to take time.
Today I am back to homeschooling my little guys, working with Sunshine, writing, doing laundry, cooking, and the normal things of life. I’m so happy that Bee and Ladybug want to have friends here. Maybe we’ll have a crowd of college students gathering as well.
I am continually thankful for your prayers and wonderful support. Again, I have so much to write about and want to do it somewhat sequentially, hopefully this weekend. My friend, Katie, posted the photo of our adoption announcement on FB yesterday. In the midst of unpacking after a move, she found it in the bottom of a box – and put it on their family’s prayer bulletin board. I find myself wanting to look at photos of Dimples from when she first came home – when our hope was so great and our confidence high.
I wish we could sit at my table, sipping coffee, maybe crying a little, laughing and holding hands as we talk about our families. I love the fellowship we share. Thank you.