Our first visit with Dimples is coming up fairly soon. This visit will be for us to spend time with Dimples in the cottage getting to know the staff and routines, having a family therapy session, and immersing ourselves in her life there.
Each Monday we have a phone call with Dimples followed by a call with her therapist each Wednesday. I also get emails several times a week, so we’re in touch frequently, which is reassuring. This, however, will be the first time we’ve seen our daughter in over a month.
As the visit grows closer, Russ and I have been nervous about what the staff’s expectations are, what they want us to do, where we’ll spend our time, etc. Dimples’ therapist assured us that they will send us a schedule for the visit so we won’t be left guessing. Does this remind you of anything? I smiled to think how similar we are to our children who need schedules and routines to feel secure.
Truth be told, Dimples doesn’t want us to visit. The cruel nature of attachment disorders is that she will do all that she can to keep us away, both physically and emotionally. It’s terrifying to trust somebody enough to attach to them and receive their love.
The only way to heal is to press through this pain, not only hers, but ours. It’s going to be messy, and even ugly at times, but we’re going to give it all we have.