Last year sometime I wrote about teaching little ones to breathe deeply when they are stressed. Deborah taught Dimples to take slow, deep breaths to calm herself. We began with a slow breath taking five seconds with the goal of ten seconds per breath. We still do this and it is honestly helpful, especially if I do it with her.
One of my readers commented that a good way to teach kids to breathe deeply and slowly is to use the imagery of smelling a flower (slow breath in) and blowing a candle (long breath out).
We’ve been working on this with Eby and he totally gets it! He’ll even use his own hand to create a “flower” and then raise one finger to blow the candle.
I’ve been wondering if it would work even better to “blow the candle” and then “smell the flower”, since breathing out first would encourage the child to take a deep breath in. Any thoughts?
This is a fantastic tool for kids who are concrete in their thinking and need a simple way to make sense of slow breathing.
Give it a try and let me know if it works with your kids!
~Lisa
We do this with our kiddos too and have found it to be very helpful as well. My kids are almost 2, 2, and almost 4 and so sometimes they still are "huffy" instead of the deep and slow breathing that we want. We've been able to counter this by holding starting with "one candle" and progressively holding up another finger so that they have to take deeper breaths. And by five they're usually doing it correctly. With my oldest son we've also just started laying down on our backs, closing our eyes and pretending that we're astronauts floating through space and we talk about what we see. Not the guided imagery I'd choose, but it works for him. :)
I use this technique with my daughter – and here I thought *I* had made up something new – lol! When she is hyperventalating and freaking out, I hold up my finger and say “okay…..blow out the candle”. It has the additional benefit of usually making her laugh :)
I'm glad you wrote about this again. I needed to be reminded – not just for the children, but for myself! Thank you.
Me too, Tisha! Taking slow, deep breaths definitely helps me through some hard moments.
My in-laws look at me funny when I have the kiddos do this, but we've been using this technique for years. We say, "fill your lungs. sound like the wind." Weird but it works for us. I mostly use it when the kiddos are hurt. Going back to Lamaz, if they can concentrate on the breathing, the don't get so worked up into a lather about the pain. And they get some good oxygen in their bodies. Some of my kiddos have been able to do it better than others when they are really in pain.
Thx so much for the reminder!
Nancy, it seems that it's just a matter of getting them to understand the concept, because once they get it, it is so helpful. I'm glad it works for your kids too. The Lamaze reference cracks me up — I still revert to that same breathing when I'm hurt too.
me too! The Lamaze breathing I have def returned to in post adoption parenting!
Jillian – that cracks me up. It works!
I think the technique sounds great and really helpful, but really, what I wanted to say is that Eby is ADORABLE! I love his expressions!
Thank you Lisa. I have to admit, I think he is darling.
Great stuff again! I have used the blow up a balloon imagery and don't know why I didn't think of the flower/candle…I like your reordering better tho too. So, next time they need to slow and calm, I'm using this!
I like the balloon too – in fact I have a post coming up about it next week. The flower/candle are just so great for little kids.
These pictures are too cute! I love them! They should be the "model" pictures for everyone!
We also have a deep breath reminder for our Morgan Yisak…in fact this week at speech therapy he was having a hard time waiting his turn, we had had about 3 crying fits and one self infliction, the tapping of the legs….so I turned his chair away from everything happening (still near me) and told him to do his deep breaths….He was sitting up stiff and neck tense….I got the baby out of the car seat and setting in to nurse and looked over and HE WAS ASLEEP! He (for the first time ever) had calmed his entire body to the point of nodding off while sitting up…it was actually really a beautiful thing…I remember "making him breath" and he would cry or get mad and more stiff, because he didn't want to be told to do something……he slept 13 hours the night before and sure enough, sat there and nodded off….simply amazing!
That is so great!
I'm going to try this. Cupcake tends to get more worked up when I ask her to breathe. Thank you again.
I use this simple but very effective technique to teach patients (adults) to control severe anxiety/stress and even to reduce the symptoms of panic attacks.
There is evidence that proves this type of deep breathing expels toxins, which build up in our bodies, as a result of excess adrenaline due to stressanxiety (preparation for the fight or flight).
I use it regularly (practice what you preach) when feeling stressed or anxious.
Try it, iy works
Thank you for your great comment!