Although I am writing a lot about Dimples and her progress toward healing, I don’t want to give the impression that she is my “problem child” and the rest are perfect. I’m doing a lot of intense parenting with Honeybee and Eby, who also need a significant amount of special attention. The rest of the young crowd is quite normal, meaning that instruction and training are going on all the time.

One of the things we convey to Dimples and Honeybee is that we are on their side. They are not “bad” children that we are trying to make “good”, they are just seriously behind on learning to interact in a healthy and positive way within a family.

As our therapist explained it, most children begin hitting when they are babies – batting at our faces with their sweet little hands. We take their hands and firmly say, “No hitting.” This goes on in various forms throughout their baby and toddler years, and by the time they are four or so, they have learned that hitting is not acceptable. They may still hit, but not with the same frequency, and it generally takes some provocation.

The therapist (I think she needs a nickname) told Dimples that since her Ethiopian Mommy and Daddy died when she was very little, she didn’t have anyone to teach her not to hit or how to play nicely with other children. It isn’t her fault that she didn’t learn these things. It also isn’t her fault that she has been scared, which makes it hard for her relax and enjoy playing with other kids. Now she has a Mommy and Daddy who can teach her how to live in a family and get along with people.

We are on our children’s side – we are on their team. Russ and I believe in the power of God to heal and the strength our children have to learn how to live in a family and in this world. They can do it, and we’re going to be with them, cheering them on, every step of the way.

~Lisa