Thank you for every single, beautiful comment on yesterday’s post. Shame is a powerful topic because it is an emotion we all experience at times. It seems to come in abundance for some of us as we mother our children.
In our struggle to help Dimples, Russ and I wondered, “Why can’t we fix this? Why can’t we help her? Maybe we’re not the parents we think we are.”
I wrote yesterday that, according to Brene Brown, shame needs three things to survive: silence, secrecy, and judgement. Shame is diminished, and even doused, when we come together in empathy, saying “Me too.” So many of you said, “Me too” to yesterday’s post; the words you shared were beautiful. I want my blog to be a place where we can be honest about our challenges and joys as we parent our children and as we journey through life.
As I prepared my talk for Refresh, I found myself reading Romans 5:3-5 and it grabbed hold of me.
…Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Isn’t that beautiful? Hope – our hope in Christ – does not put us to shame.
As I sat sipping coffee in our local co-op contemplating these verses, I decided to see what some really smart people had to say about them. So I began reading online commentaries, when I stumbled upon this in the Matthew Henry Commentary.
Though we are counted as the offscouring of all things, and trodden under foot as the mire in the streets, yet, having hopes of glory, we are not ashamed of these sufferings. It is in a good cause, for a good Master, and in good hope; and therefore we are not ashamed. We will never think ourselves disparaged by sufferings that are likely to end so well.
That took my breath away. There I was sniffing back tears, reading a Bible commentary in our very funky co-op. I’m pretty sure nobody at the other tables was crying over an ancient theologian. Here is the beautiful truth, our sufferings are in a good cause, for a good Master – our Lord Jesus, and in good hope. Therefore we should not be ashamed.
If God has called you to suffer in your adoption/fostercare journey, you need not be ashamed. You are a servant of His. He chose you for this task, and while it may not look the way you hoped it would, your life and the lives of your children, belong to him. Remember that we serve a good Master. He has his hand on every aspect of your life, and your sufferings, “…are likely to end so well.”