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I was rocking Honeybee the other night and as we rocked, she told me how broken her heart is.  She said that her heart had been filling up with love, but then I missed some days of rocking and it all emptied out.  Her heart broke into a million pieces.  As we rocked I told her that I understood how hard it was for her to have me gone and that I was sorry I had to be away from her, but we needed to work on helping her learn to hold onto the love in her heart.

She continued to express her disappointment in me and all at  once, a bit of truth pierced my thoughts.  I looked in her eyes and said,

Honeybee, my love is going to disappoint you.  It will never be perfect, no matter how much I try.  I will make mistakes and even let you down.

She looked surprised.

Do you know that there is only one person who can give you perfect love?  That person is Jesus.  Not only that, He is the only one who can heal your heart.

I can’t heal your heart, Daddy can’t heal your heart, Mrs. Gray can’t heal your heart — only Jesus.  We can all help and do our part, and we will do our best, but only Jesus can heal your heart.

In that moment, a weight lifted off of me.  I have been striving so hard, working so hard, and thinking so much about how to help my children.  I have been carrying the weight of their brokenness in my heart and mind and it was taking a toll.

But I can’t heal their hearts on my own; I’m just part of the team.  The Great Healer is Jesus. He alone knows my children’s stories and their wounds.  He alone has the power to touch their deepest hurts.

Let’s not carry more than we are meant to bear – let’s lay down the brokenness of our children, ourselves, and our families, and trust the One who loves us to bring healing.

Lisa



  1. Cassc (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Isn't it amazing how we can "know" something but not really understand it? Was Honeybee able to understand what you were telling her? What an important lesson for you both!

  2. Mary (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Amen! We just have our loaves and fish, right? Such an encouragement to this mama in Texas! Thank you Lisa.

    • Jillian (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

      "We just have our loaves and fish" So true! We just have to offer what we have and be faithful. Amen!

  3. Chantelle (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

  4. carla (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Yes, yes, yes!!! You have put into words what God has been showing me over this past year. It has been so freeing to realize that I can never be all that these children need, actually not even close to what they really need, which is Jesus. He is the Healer, He is the one who brought these children into our families and we can only be what He is calling us to be, "mothers". I'm so glad that you have realized this because I know you have went the extra 1000 miles to help your children and it has put a strain on you and your family. Remember, "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:30

  5. Melissa (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Thank you for this post. I needed this reminder! Your blog has been such an encouragement to me!

  6. Tisha (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Hi Lisa,
    I have been reading for a little over a month and keep meaning to post a comment. My husband and I adopted twin girls from Ethiopia in 2009 and one of them have some attachment issues. The thing that gets me through is knowing that the Lord is the only one who can heal her heart. We can do the best that we can, but we can't do it all alone. I love your blog and your heart. You are an amazing mother!

  7. Karen (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Lisa, I can't believe you posted this today. I just came to the exact same realization this morning. As I was doing a Bible study lesson, it spoke about things that we hang on to and forget to hand over to God. It encouraged us to take one thing from our day that we normally try to control and just pass it over to Jesus. In that moment, I realized that I needed to pass over my daughter's hurts to Jesus and let Him heal her. I can't do it. Jesus can use me to aid in her healing but I cannot do it on my own. I can rock with her all I want to (which I do continue to do every single day) but without God, her hurts can't heal. My therapeutic parenting on it's own just isn't enough. God is enough.

    Thank you so much for this post.

    k

  8. Andrea (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Bless you Lisa! You are always trying.. Why can't all children have a mommy like you..

  9. Heather (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    I agree with you totally. When I lose that perspective, that Jesus alone is the healer of broken and wounded hearts, I begin to feel overwhelmed at the impossible task I feel I have. It is only when I remember this, that I feel that huge weight lifted. Thanks for the reminder!

  10. coffeemom (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Ooh, perfect timing and perfect reminder!! Whew. Thank you!

  11. Mary (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    That is so hugely freeing as a mom, isn't it? To remember that we do not carry that burden ourselves…
    Love,
    Mary

  12. Ashley (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Ah, thank you. I've been feeling very heavy under the "expectation" to heal my boys hearts. I needed this today. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  13. Shonni (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Amen Lisa

  14. Teresa (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Wow! Very powerful.

  15. Angela (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    You are so right!! We are the parents but we can’t do it all!!

  16. kristen (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    I am the servant, not the Source.

    I have that quote on my pantry door where i see it eleventy billion times a day, thank God.

    great post, and reminder, Lisa.

    • One Thankful Mom (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

      Kristen, I need that painted on the wall of my kitchen. Thank you.

      • Heidi (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

        Lisa, If you look up "Vinal Wall Lettering" on Etsy.com – I am sure you can have someone print that saying for you! :)

      • Tisha (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

        I'm printing that for my refrigerator right now. Thanks.

        These are such important words Lisa. Thank you.

  17. pastormacsann (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    That burden is a crushing weight, only He is strong enough to carry it. Thank you, Lisa. Thank you.

  18. kerry (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    this is so true and just what i needed to hear. I too have been bearing the burden of "fixing" or "healing" our daughter. Thank you for reminding me that she is Jesus' .

  19. nancileamarie (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Amen!

  20. Dawn (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Love this!!! :)

  21. One Thankful Mom (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Thanks!

  22. claudia (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Perfect timing for me too. Thanks.

  23. Elizabeth (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Yes, yes, yes! My other moment of relief came when I realized that I carried much fear for my child… fear that I wouldn't be able to parent him as I should, fear for how his future would be, fear he would never heal, etc. But suddenly the promise "Perfect love casts out fear" made sense. And it wasn't my love for my child that was casting out my fear for him (that wasn't working), but Jesus' love for both of us. With His love, I have no need to fear.

  24. Jodie Howerton (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Wow, this is so powerful, Lisa. Absolutely amazing.

  25. Kayla (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    I am awfully speechless as I read this. It's a beautiful spiritual truth that flies in the face of the way we like to "do" relationships.

  26. learningpatience (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Truth well spoken there, my friend!

  27. Hannah Tucker (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    The eternal truth of your realization inspired me to write these lyrics. They're not much, but I thought I'd just share them with you, to the glory of God.

    She cries shrilly,
    Awakening her mommy
    From her light, restless dreaming:
    "Want MY mama!"
    Her wails floor "mommy";
    She cannot heal her.

    God, I can't do this;
    I cannot piece her back together;
    Can't make sense of the terror.
    God, I can't heal her,
    'Cause I'm broken myself:
    Heal Your children, Father!

    "How?" she mumbles,
    Trying to hold back the sobs
    Her friend wants her to release:
    "Didn't mean to!"
    Her friend looks down, defeated;
    She cannot heal her.

    God, I can't do this;
    I cannot piece her back together;
    Can't make sense of the terror.
    God, I can't heal her,
    'Cause I'm broken myself:
    Heal Your children, Father!

    "Why?" she whispers,
    Her voice startling her husband
    Out of his dreary stupor:
    "Why OUR baby?"
    Her groans tear at his heart;
    He cannot heal her.

    God, I can't do this;
    I cannot piece her back together;
    Can't make sense of the terror.
    God, I can't heal her,
    'Cause I'm broken myself:
    Heal Your children, Father!

  28. Jennifer Anderson (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Lisa, from Gods heart through your lips to all of us out there. THank you for being his vessel for the reminders we all so desperately need!

  29. dawn (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Funny I was thinking the exact same thing today. Rocking seems to have triggered an intense, anxious attachment in my little girlie. She doesn't want me to leave. Ever. Ever. Tomorrow we will have a talk about Jesus being the only One who can heal all her emptiness. She is very much like your Honeybee, "emptied" very easily. :(

  30. Mary Andrews (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Lisa, you are so profound in your wisdom. I am awed. Love you, Mom

  31. [...] post really spoke to me from [...]

  32. Marilyn (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    A most excellent post. A friend's link sent me here.

    • OneThankfulMom (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

      Thank you, Marilyn. I'm glad you found your way to my blog and hope to get to know you.

  33. Mamitaj (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Amen. That does take the burden off, doesn't it?

  34. Leica (Reply) on Monday 17, 2011

    Thanks for that!