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I spent nearly four days in a hospital gown and it gave me pause. It was uncomfortable, in the bed where it twisted around me, and even more so when I was out of bed , holding it tightly closed with one hand on the way to the bathroom. I felt vulnerable and exposed. One nurse suggested that I would sleep better if I just untied it while in bed – no thank you.

I had very little control of my life in the hospital. People came and went, putting medication into my IV’s, doing EKG’s, drawing blood. I was dependent on strangers to care for me; I wanted their help, but it felt odd. In real life, I spend my days being in charge of my little brood. I schedule the appointments, plan the meals, enforce the chore chart, and keep us moving along. In the hospital, I was reduced to a fraction of my normal self.

Hannah and Mimi

Hannah and Mimi

This story was long, too long for a blog post, despite the fact that I tried to make it concise, so I broke it into two parts, intending to post them one day after another. In retrospect, I realize that while I know the whole story, it is unkind to leave you all hanging. So here it is, Part 2. Thanks for your loving words and prayers. I’ll have more to say on all of this soon. [My Slightly Broken Heart, Part 1]

Saturday I had an echocardiogram and we learned that I have a bicuspid aortic valve which is the cause of the aortic aneurysm. A bicuspid valve is the most common congenital heart defect and most often poses no problem – although it can – and it all gets complicated.

My Slightly Broken Heart Part 1

I’ll begin this post with the end of the story. I did not have open-heart surgery. However, I’m  pretty certain this was the most expensive, complex, and strange weekend of my life. It all started on Friday when I woke at 3:45 am with a heavy weight in my chest and the sense that something […]

Tuesday Topic: Buying a House Before Adopting

Today’s Tuesday Topic comes from Cassandra who asks, We’re in the middle of our first adoption and our agency just told us they expect we have another year before we can travel to bring home our daughter. We would love to buy a forever home rather than renting and possibly moving several times to upgrade […]

“I Love You.” “I Know That.”

Not long ago I was watching Little House on the Prairie with the younger crew. I’m telling you, that show is as good today as it was when I was a child. When I bought the series  as a family Christmas gift, I wondered if they would enjoy the show in all of its simplicity; thankfully, […]

The Days of Having Young Children

This morning Little Man woke up with a tummy ache. I’m not sure that his tummy hurt so much as he wanted to sit in the quiet morning with me, snuggled up in my lap, rocking.  We sat in the sunshine, his body curled against mine with his head on my chest, my chin resting […]